It was almost midnight when Riani and Jan reached the barracks.
Thanking the driver and guard Jan took her arm to steady her.
“I’m alright, really Jan” she protested.
“Yes, but I feel like being courteous. My song’s a love song I’ve decided.
I’ll deliver you to your Prince, and then write some more words, my lady.”
Yes, he liked this courtly way he decided.
She left her arm where it was in Jan’s firm hold and smiled.
This was a side of Jan she hadn’t seen before.
A romantic and soft side, in sharp contrast to the sharp minded, quipping Jan that usually showed through.
The lute and the music that he was making was letting him explore that in himself.
She found herself looking forward to hearing the rest of the song.
They reached the quarters that she shared with Avin.
“Thank you Jan” she said with a slight courtesy that looked a little out of place from a warrior in leather leggings.
“My lady” he bowed taking her hand, kissing it and releasing it. The old Jan was back.
“Cool! I like this.” He scampered off and Riani wanted to laugh.
This friend Derel that Jan had made had really heralded a change in him.
She’d always liked the old Jan. Effervescent and forever young he was like the group’s elfin and perpetual youngster.
It looked like music was causing him to grow up.
He was waiting for her. Avin’s face was a storm, thunder lightning and deluge playing through his features.
“What’s the matter?” she asked rushing to him.
She’d never seen him this angry.
Was he angry that she’d healed Hirn?
“You’re impulsive, thoughtless and foolish Riani” he said coldly, pulling his hands away from her as she reached for them.
“What have I done?” she asked, genuinely not understanding what she might have done to cause such anger in him.
“I waited here worrying about you for hours. Then Sil came in and told me what you were doing.
You never told me that you were risking yourself again.
You didn‘t even say that you‘d be late back.
I wouldn‘t mind, but you had time to see Sil! You were actually right here in the barracks, and gave me no thought at all.”
His voice was ice and she felt desolate because she could think of no way to melt it.
Then she started to feel angry too.
“I did what was needed, when it was needed. I think you’d have done the same”
she was trying to keep the anger from her voice.
This had nothing to do with Hirn, nothing to do with anything except Avin wanting his lover on hand like a tap runs water.
She hadn’t thought to see this in him. She didn’t like it, and she wouldn’t have it binding her.
“Next time check with me first.
It’ll be me that has to sit and care for you while you’re unconscious, and maybe I might have been too busy this time. “
He was furious with her.
Riani took a deep breath.
She would have none of this.
She felt badly enough about the burden that she had been to them.
He knew that she did.
For him to illustrate it and throw it at her now in an argument was cruel, and he could have had no other motive
other than to injure her by saying it.
Saying no more she went to a cupboard where her backpack and clothing were stored.
She stripped off the clothing that he had made for her and dressed quickly in the clothes that she’d arrived in on Minthrall.
“What are you doing now?” He almost snarled at her from the table where he was now sitting and silently still
radiating his anger.
“I’m going to stay with Gerard. I have work to do tomorrow, and I don’t have time for this.”
She also now had frost and fire in her voice. He leapt up from the table to stand in front of her.
“No, you’re not.” He snatched the pack from her and threw it to the ground, and grasped her wrists in a vicious grip.
“You’ll stay here and have this out.”
“No, Avin, I wont.
You’re acting as if you own me, and you’ve lost sight of why I might do something without telling you.
We are less important than what we’re fighting for.
I can see what we’re fighting against playing itself out in you now, and I don‘t want to share a bed with it.
Let go of me!”
She twisted her hands, trying to release herself.
He didn’t loose his grip on her wrists. Physically he was much stronger than she, and she knew it.
Inside she was shaking, a little fearful, but mainly with grief. Love had been given and taken away from her.
He didn’t love her. His face looked so full of ire, like he wanted to kill her.
Externally she looked calm as she blasted Avin against the wall of their room with a force spelling which held him there.
As he prepared to counter it Sol and Marg burst in having heard their raised voices.
“Avinar!” Sol addressed his son in tones of quiet command.
“ and Riani. I think that you’ve both said quite enough for one night.”
Avin stopped his spelling and Riani released him from hers.
He slid two feet down the wall and hit the floor with a thud.
She picked up her backpack and left their room without giving herself a chance to look to see if he was alright.
She reached the cellar and was halfway to her old room in the castle before she let the flood of tears that
she’d made wait for expression flow like the Northern Edge tide.
She’d barely undressed and gotten into her bed when she heard a knock at the door.
“It’s me, Elen” a voice announced. “Come in” she said quietly.
Elen came in and sat next to her on her bed. She still thought of Elen as “Marg”,
she was pleased to see her, she felt confused and displaced.
She was still burning with outrage and feelings that she couldn’t understand.
She’d lost him, and she didn’t understand why.
Elen stroked her face gently, it was red and stinging from her tears, and then held her in her arms.
Riani felt herself falling to pieces inside and more burning droplets fell from her eyes.
“Riani, it was just an argument.” Elen rocked her gently.
“Noooo…it wasn’t…he doesn’t love me anymore, he hates me….his face, he was so angry…”
the small child that was now Riani sobbed uncontrollably and Elen continued to comfort it with a mother’s love.
“Oh he loves you Riani, for certain. Avinar has always expressed fear like that.
He’s always gotten angry when he’s afraid for someone.”
“He was afraid!” some of the warrior in her was coming to the fore again.
“I had to hold him off with magic. If you two hadn’t have come in I don’t know what would have happened.
I think I hurt him….” she sobbed again.
“Oh, I think you’d have just have battled for a while and then ended up in bed.”
Riani found herself crying and laughing at the same time. “Gant would say that wasn’t good for morale.”
“ and he’d be right, it wasn’t the time or place for it, so you did right in trying to stop it.
It’s a pity you couldn’t have your first argument in private and let it run its course, but we are in extreme circumstances. “
she sighed, continuing to hold the crying child.
“You and Avinar are in a difficult situation that is calling for all of your strength.
I think that when he thought you might be hurt, he was afraid that he couldn’t deal with it without you.”
“Did he…did he say that?” asked Riani, desperately grasping at something that might mean it wasn’t all over between them.
“He didn’t have to, I’m his mother.” said Elen gently.
“I had a dream last night” little Riani told Elen about it.
“I see” Elen was wondering whether or not to tell Riani that she knew about that place, had been there,
would go there again. She decided that for now Riani needed to sleep.
“I’ll get Jan to take over from you at the school tomorrow” she said.
You sleep as long as you need to, and come see me at the barracks at lunch time.”
“but Avin…” she faltered
“will be feeling like an abandoned puppy by then, and really pleased to see you.” Elen finished.
“We must talk about your dream soon. It’s important, but now is not the time. Come see me tomorrow.”
She tucked the bed covers in around Riani, kissing her forehead.
“Perhaps you’ll dream of it again tonight“.
As she left the room Elen smiled to herself.
She and Teransir had once battled until dawn over some insignificant argument.
She tried to remember what it was about but couldn’t.
She’d also thought she’d lost him, but really he’d just temporarily misplaced himself,
and then as temper’s flared, so had she.
When they found themselves again, having resorted to throwing rocks at each other on Rintar as she recalled,
their eyes had met and laughter had won the day as they returned to embrace themselves again, and then each other.
Her son and Riani hadn’t seen it through, but one day they would, and then nothing on any of the worlds would be able to break them.
She felt proud of Avinar, at the choice her son had made in Riani.
A strong and determined partner for his life who loved him.
She had hoped for nothing more for either of her children.
Now it seemed that both of them might have found that, she felt a contentment in her own life.
She walked through the tunnel to rejoin her own love, hoping that he had been able to settle Avinar for the night.
She remembered similar scenes when Silvana and Avinar had been children.
Silvana bringing home a Sequa snake or forgetting to meet him somewhere.
Avin furious and full of fight.
Sil crying because her brother didn’t like her anymore.
Nothing changes however old they get she chuckled to herself.
************************************************
Riani was held by lights that spun, suspended above the grassy sea, the fountain sprinkling water over her, and
making her giggle as the droplets splashed icy cold, tickling her skin.
“Riani, Riani, Riani…heals our weaving, lives our love.”
The voices sang, tiny peals of laughter joining her own,
making her forget everything except their dance.
Around and around a silver fountain in an endless spinning.
"Riani , Riani….."
************************************************
She awoke next morning in her own room in the castle and had at first forgotten why she was there.
She felt energised and happy, Elen was right, surely Avin would see it differently today. He had to.
She fought back the fear that he might not, and dressed in some nice clothes that she’d forgotten she had.
A long blue skirt and a pink flowery top. Gant would be unimpressed. She looked more like a flower seller than a warrior.
She went to join Gerard for breakfast.
He was surprised but pleased to see her. “Had a row with him?” he asked. Riani nodded.
Gerard had been briefed late last night, or was it early in the morning…he wasn’t sure about the gathering of
Arrin’s forces at Kanar. He asked Riani what had happened, he’d only had the bare bones from the soldier dispatched
to tell him. She related the whole tale to him, and about Hirn and the healing.
“Riani that was dangerous.” he saw the fire ignite in her eyes, “er…and courageous of course.
Is that what you and Avin argued about?”
He was fairly certain that it probably was. He’d have been angry too in his position.
She nodded, buttering more toast. Then shook her head.
“Then again no. It was more I didn’t tell him first, and that he was worried about me.” Gerard nodded understanding.
Avin would learn that Riani was a very independent woman.
He’d had years to get used to it.
He thought he ought to try talking to him. Maybe take him to the Cow with Terin.
They had a few days before an army was battering to get into the city.
“Will you be staying long?” he asked.
“That depends on whether he’s calmed down and wants to talk reasonably.” she answered,
hoping that he’d just want to take her in his arms and let passion talk for both of them.